The Best Rum Cake Ever

Ingredients:

1 or 2 quarts of Rum

1 C butter

1 tsp. sugar

2 large eggs

1 c. dried fruit

baking powder

1 tsp. soda

lemon juice

brown sugar

nuts

Directions:

Before you start, sample the Rum to check for quality. Good isn't it?

Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right.

To be sure Rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of Rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With an electric mixer beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the Rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. 

Open second quart if necessary. Add 3 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Rum again, checking for tonscisticity.

Next, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the Rum again.

Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown sugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.

Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees.

Now pour the whole mess into the boven and ake.

Check the Rum again and bo to ged.